Parent-Teen Relationships
Relationships can become strained.
Being a parent to a teen or young adult male can be very frustrating if your son is unmotivated. He has no job, no direction, and spends many hours in his room playing video games.
It may appear that he has very few social contacts or relationships of any substance. He shows no interest in anything and continues to isolate himself with electronic media and/or video games.
The bad news or the reality is that it just does not get better. The longer the delay to the maturation process, the greater damage it does to development and the potential of a man.
Parents can send the wrong signals.
The young man does not need a parental figure to be a friend or a codependent for issues that may surround one or more parents.
At times, you have to love your son enough not to do for him. Often, it makes you feel good but damages your maturation process.
Still, many parents do things for their son, such as making their bed or giving him money, without having them take any responsibility, because it makes the parents feel good to do for their son.
In reality, they continue to damage the maturation process of what is needed to be a strong man, husband, and father.
Developing the right relationship is essential.
The framework you have provided in your teen’s youth must be different from the one they must create for themselves. Their ability to create their own framework is often compromised through disagreements, miscommunication, and failed expectations within the home.
The relationship between a parent and a teen is markedly improved when the teen embarks on a meaningful pursuit that can be emotionally supported by their parents, who hold high expectations for values and work ethic. This is not easy, but it is not complicated.
Appropriate counsel and guidance outside the home often lead to better relationships and desired outcomes.
Therapy can provide that guidance.
When I work with parents of young men, I try to help them devise ways to increase motivation and encourage success in any endeavor they pursue.
My approach is not judgmental as I discuss with male teens the positive effects that might result from changing their behavior and becoming more motivated. It’s about identifying what is important to them so they can decide whether to make the necessary changes.
Parents also need to learn effective ways to set boundaries and follow through when those boundaries are violated.
Relationships can improve!
As a therapist who has worked extensively with young male teens, I have seen how helping them set goals and follow through can make a big difference for the entire family.
The goal is to promote independence and responsibility, helping your teen develop the skills to navigate their transition to adulthood.
At the same time, parents need to learn communication skills to improve their relationship with their teen.
Contact me today to learn more about how I can help both parents and teens build a positive, functional relationship.
